Pages from my journal.

Some years ago, when my mom was turning 50, I wrote the birthday epistle on Facebook. As far as I can remember, that was how I discovered my love for writing. A family friend reached out to my sister and asked who curated it and when she was told it was me, she became fonder of me. She applauded me and it gave me the push to write more birthday epistles for my family and friends.

I never thought that one day, I’d settle and decide to make my writing public even though I’ve gotten countless “you’re good at this”. I was reluctant mainly because of self doubt and I didn’t really see anything special with what I “casually” write. Sometimes, it’s the fear of online criticism and also the fear of not being consistent and what if I run out of ideas?

I saw a podcast one day and the host said, “you already are extremely, incredibly successful at something but because it’s easy for you and natural for you, you don’t think it’s a skill”. I’ve also read something, “that thing that people always tell you you’re good at and you keep running away from will keep haunting you until you embrace it” and I think I’ve been haunted enough.

I spent the last two years sluggishly making an attempt to this and any excuse to not continue seemed okay. I started learning about copyrighting and I also considered ghostwriting at some point because I didn’t want the recognition and maybe, it’ll be easier dealing with the criticism.

I write mostly because I am expressive, observant and can easily find the words. All of my written thoughts have been hidden in my journal for a long time. I’ve written countless captions for people and I’ve also on more than three occasions helped friends write love letters. You’d think that for someone who loves to write, I read a lot . No, I don’t. I consider myself a “lazy reader” and I have been trying to see that I embrace it as a habit even though I have my ways of consuming information. I listen to podcasts, music and I am attentive whenever someone is sharing something that is relevant. Most of the friends are readers and I pick a lot from our conversations and I also get to enjoy free book reviews. I also love to engage in short term research. Whenever I come across something new or interesting, I try to look it up and it stays with me forever.

Writing this and I feel so overwhelmed because I am finally making a bold step to something I ran away from for years. There’s a saying, “ you’ll always wish that you started younger but today is the youngest you’ll ever be so, start today.

I really appreciate you all for reading this far, for your support, those who kept encouraging me to just start despite my reluctance. I believe my life is a collage of different things, people and experiences. In simple terms, I’m an all-rounder.

I haven’t decided what this space should be called but for now, I’ll work with “pages from my journal”. Thank you so much. I’ll appreciate your likes and comments.